Negotiate with the Stubbornness of Old Age

Elderly parents can be persistent, insistent, and resistant when faced with persuasion attempts by their adult children. In an exploratory study of elderly-offspring pairs, researchers at Pennsylvania State University and University of Texas-Austin aimed to identify what sets off the stubbornness. The findings also apply to influence attempts by salespeople, health care professionals, and politicians.
     In some cases, there was evidence of a lifelong pattern of being demanding or strong-willed and, in many cases, taking pride in those characteristics. As influence agents face stubbornness in the elderly, it is useful to acknowledge that tenacity is often a helpful characteristic in meeting challenges at every stage of life. But tenacity also can be maladaptive. A general finding from the research was that a perception of stubbornness became more likely when the elderly individual encountered disabilities which necessitated dependence on others. This stubbornness might best understood in the context of a desperate grab to maintain control.
     Adult offspring who are busy with their own immediate family might pressure the parent into quick compliance. This irritates the parent and leads to suspicions that any advice is not in the parent’s best interests. The resulting resistance can then generalize to the elderly individual’s interactions with other impatient influence agents. In the studies, reports of stubbornness were less common when both the senior and the adult child rated the relationship quality as positive.
     What we perceive as stubbornness in the elderly has parallels to what consumer psychologists refer to as reactance in consumers of all ages, so techniques to ease reactance can be helpful.

• Review your reasoning. Check that what you are selling is truly to the advantage of the senior. Then frame your sales pitch around these genuine benefits. Reactance eases when a consumer feels they owe the persuasion agent for being helpful. 
• Step back. When you see reactance developing, physically step away. When feasible, move to a less crowded area. Verbally step back by softening the rhetoric. Persuade in steps rather than trying to do it in one session. 
• Talk of pleasure. Researchers had some participants read a message encouraging them to try a chocolate treat. The other participants’ message encouraged them to open a bank account. Those in the first condition responded best to an assertive message, “You must try our chocolate.” Those with the bank message responded best to a non-assertive pitch, “You could open a bank account with us.” 

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