Claim “No Money, Friend” Over “No Time”

A valued friend has invited you to their destination wedding being held next month. You prefer not to spend the money on the airfare and lodging or the time away from your ongoing tasks, but you want to preserve the goodwill in your relationship. After congratulating your friend on the wedding and saying the celebration sounds like great fun, would it be better for you to decline the invitation by adding, “Money is tight for me these days,” or “Time is tight for me these days”?
     Researchers at The Ohio State University, Vanguard, and Harvard University suggest you plead “no money” before “no time.” Their studies indicate that your friend will consider you having less control over your financial resources than your scheduling availability. The result is that the “no money” excuse better preserves trustworthiness. From another perspective, saying you lack the time seems to signal that you place a relatively low priority on the relationship.
     The set of studies also identify a condition on this: People who themselves feel high time pressure in their daily lives have extra sympathy with a “no time” excuse from a friend. This might hold especially when the friend giving the excuse is known to be financially secure. For those who have more money than time, time is more valuable than money.
     Perhaps another condition on the phrasing is the nature of the relationship. If you value your friend because they’re a good business client, you might avoid saying you don’t have enough money. Clients hesitate doing business with businesses that lack financial security.
     More generally regarding trustworthiness in close business attachments, researchers at Nanyang Technological University in Singapore found that, if the outcome of a transaction turns out unfavorably, customers who consider themselves close friends of a retailer are more forgiving of the retailer. The consumers gave higher ratings on fairness and satisfaction than when the retailer was considered only an acquaintance. It could make little difference whether you say “no money” or “no time.”
     People consider time more valuable than money when thinking how time is perishable. If you don’t use time now, it’s gone forever, but money not used now can be used later. In fact, if invested properly, the money gains in value. When you reinforce this mindset, friends and shoppers making requests of you are more impressed with appeals to saving time than saving money.

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